The fight against injustice will always be long and often discouraging. The only way to persist is to choose a cause you feel that your life—and the lives of others—depends on, one you can speak to from (for lack of a better, less cheesy phrase) the heart.

In trying to figure out what a feminist whose friend is accused of rape should do, I turn to the women who have already publicly responded to the men they know and trusted who were confronted with accusations of sexual misconduct.

Our society very clearly communicates that pretty is everything. Pretty is skipping breakfast. Pretty is counting calories. Pretty is losing weight (and not gaining it back). Pretty is being told by friends that “you look so skinny.”