Alphabetical Entries: P

acceptable sex-specific terms, although the Latin is more often replaced with "father/patriarch." The original paterfamilias, head of the clan, tribe, or family, had unlimited power over his wives, concubines, children, slaves, servants, animals, and property. At times, his power extended even to deciding who would live and who would die (girl children, for example, or disobedient wives and slaves). Be sensitive to the history and legacy of this concept when using these terms. See also mater/materfamilias.

unless you mean fatherlike or father-related ("paternal grandmother"), use parental, ancestral; kindly, kindhearted, loving, nurturing, devoted, indulgent, solicitous, concerned, fond, protective, sympathetic. "Paternal" has been overused, and often the paternal verges on the patronizing.

parentalism, authoritarian parentalism, authoritarianism, protectionism, political intrusion/intervention, benevolent despotism. "Paternalism" is entrenched in certain academic, philosophic, and political circles, and is difficult (but not impossible) to replace with a commonly recognized one-word term. The concept of paternalism resonates negatively with many women and minorities; paternalistic societies, laws, churches, and husbands have been a fact of life throughout history. Former U.S. Supreme Court Justice William Brennan said, "Our nation has had a long and unfortunate history of sex discrimination ... rationalized by an attitude of 'romantic paternalism' which, in practical effect, put women not on a pedestal, but in a cage." See also chivalry.

use "patient" only if the person is under a doctor's care or has a disease that requires such care. "For the 43 million people now designated as having a physical, mental, or biological disability, only a tiny proportion are continually resident in and under medical supervision and are thus truly patients" (Irving Kenneth Zola, in Perspectives on Disability). The Publication Manual of the American Psychological Association, 4th ed., says to reconsider such terms as patient management and patient placement; "In most cases, it is treatment, not patients, that is managed; some alternatives are 'coordination of care,' 'supportive services,' 'assistance.'" See also case, disabilities.

there is nothing wrong with using this phrase, but be aware of how many such expressions are male-based. Balance their use with female-based expressions, creative expressions of your own, or sex-neutral alternatives: long-suffering, stoic, forbearing, uncomplaining, longanimous, abiding, patient, extraordinarily patient, patient as the grave, through fire and water, keeping the faith. See also sex-linked expressions.

the basic principle of all major relationship systems in western world (Sandra M. Schneiders, Women and the Word), patriarchy refers to a hierarchical system (that is, exercising power over subordinates) where some men, and virtually no women, have controlled social, political, religious, military, and other prominent institutions. Schneiders, theologian Rosemary Ruether, former president of the World Council of Churches Willem Visser't Hooft, and others say that the patriarchy principle supports racism, colonialism, ageism, classism, and clericalism as well as sexism. While it is true that "dominator models of society" (Riane Eisler, The Chalice and the Blade) have been established and maintained almost entirely by men, not all men were involved in the dominator system; many of them, especially those who did not conform, suffered under it. It is entirely possible to be a father (patriarch) without being oppressive. The opposite of a patriarchy is not a matriarchy as both matriarchies and patriarchies involve an imbalance of power between the sexes; the true opposite of a matriarchy or a patriarchy is a partnership society. To clarify contemporary systems of oppression, replace "patriarchy" with: dominator system/society, dominator model of society, hierarchy, hierarchical/authoritarian society. Until neither sex needs to dominate the other, use "matriarchy/patriarchy" terms cautiously. Sex-neutral alternatives for "patriarch" include ancestor/family elder, head of the family, family head. The word "patricentric" puts the father at the center of the family or system without the hierarchical overtones of "patriarchal." See also chivalry, hierarchy/hierarchical thinking, matriarch/matriarchy, paternalism, sexism.

this word shares the same Latin root (pater ) as other "father" words and there is no parallel "matrician." It is not functionally sexist, but it tends to be classist and you may sometimes want alternatives for the adjective: elegant, well-bred, formal, stately, graceful, courtly, debonair, delicate, decorous, majestic, exquisite, polite, seemly, refined, genteel, cultivated, urbane, sophisticated, worldly, stylish, cosmopolitan, classy. The best alternative for the noun is aristocrat, although we tend not to use "patrician" in that sense, perhaps because of our democratic underpinnings.

accurate sex-specific word. Inclusive alternative: parricide.

refers to descent through the father's line; its word pair is "matrilineal."

inheritance, estate, family estate, birthright, legacy, bequest, succession, inherited property, heirship, heritage, endowment, portion, share, lot. Note the nonparallel "patrimony/matrimony."

from Latin for "land of my father," these terms function today as inclusive words, although their connection to "father" words (patriarchy, paternalism, patrimony, patronizing) tends to emphasize the male-dominated, hierarchical, war-prone elements of our country. "Because the term carries a generally positive connotation, it is susceptible to misappropriation for propagandistic purposes. Political elites and the manufacturers of consent for their rule are wont to use the idea to characterize thoughts, deeds, and even persons that they favor; and to describe what they want to disparage as unpatriotic" (Andrew Levine, Political Keywords). If you need an alternative for "patriotic" without sex-linked roots, consider civic-minded, public spirited, nationalistic, loyal.

patrol/highway/law enforcement/peace/police/traffic officer, patroller, state trooper, trooper, officer, police.

both women and men are patrons today, and the word functions fairly inclusively, but it comes from the Latin for "father," it has been used more of men than of women, it is part of the exceedingly non-parallel word pair "matron/patron," and it has some fairly sexist relatives ("patronage," "patronize," "patronymic"). For those reasons, you may want alternatives: benefactor, sponsor, backer, donor, supporter, promoter, philanthropist, booster, champion, partisan, angel, guardian angel, bankroll, advocate, mentor, helper, protector; library user, customer, shopper, buyer, purchaser, subscriber, client. See also matron.

namesake/guardian saint, special saint (for example, "Saint Appollonia, special saint of dentists"). See also patron.

from the Latin for "father," this term has no female partner ("matronage"), is closely related to "patronize," and reflects centuries of father-inspired domination. These associations may inspire you to consider alternatives: sponsorship, support, auspices, advocacy, defense, championship, assistance, encouragement, promotion, protection, influence; business, trade, custom, customers, clientele, commerce, shopping, trading. See also patron.

patron. Patron may not always be the word of choice, but it is far better than "patroness." See also feminine word endings, patron.

patronize has highly sexist roots and associations (for example, what some men did to some women for so long, but rarely vice versa) and can be easily replaced: support, favor, uphold, promote, defend, sponsor, show favor to, defer to, tolerate; condescend to, treat condescendingly, underestimate, disparage, discount, look down on, talk down to, deign, stoop, be overbearing/arrogant; trade with, buy/purchase from, do business with, give business to, shop at, frequent. See also patron.

condescending, scornful, supercilious, overbearing, snobbish, superior-acting, offensive, humiliating, haughty, presumptuous, insulting, insolent. See also patronize.

referring to a name derived from the father or a paternal ancestor, these are correct sex-specific terms. If you mean the term in the generic sense, use surname, last name, birth name. Author Una Stannard believes that giving children their fathers' surnames sprang from ignorance about the facts of life. Before the female ovum was discovered in 1827, people assumed that men contributed the seed of life while women's wombs simply provided the soil in which it grew. "Since the female role in generation was thought to be negligible, it seemed only logical that children would receive their names from their fathers, seen as their sole progenitors." See also hyphenated surnames, matronym/matronymic, surname.

the origins of this word do not appear sex-linked and it is not perceived as particularly gender specific. For a more neutral-appearing term, use scapegoat, goat, loser, born loser, dupe, nebbish, victim, mark, target, laughingstock, sad sack, doormat, sap, hard-luck story, pigeon, pushover, fool. See also fall guy, whipping boy.

payroll agent/supervisor/manager, financial officer, treasurer, bursar, purser, receiver, accountant, cashier, teller, bookkeeper, controller, comptroller, steward.

peace on earth, good will to all/all creation/the world/God's creations/all God's children.

see food names for people.

use the generic "peafowl" instead of the male "peacock" when referring to both males and females.

enfant terrible, in the avant garde, innovative/unorthodox/unconventional/nonconforming director/artist/musician, etc., heretic (in nonreligious sense), questioner; embarrassment; mischievous child. See also enfant terrible.