widow/widower

these are acceptable sex-specific words. If you need an inclusive term, use surviving spouse. Widow and widower are also used by lesbian and gay couples when one dies. Widower is one of the only male words that is the marked term—that is, the female widow is the unmarked or default word and the male word is based on it. Notice how often a woman is referred to as someone's widow—and how very seldom a man is referred to as someone's widower.