rule the roost

this phrase is sexist because, although the roost is invariably "manned" by a rooster, the expression refers to a woman who dominates her family. The expression developed from the nonsexist British variant "rule the roast" where "roast" refers either to a governing body or to the roasted beef served for Sunday dinner (and it is moot who ruled it: the woman who roasted it or the man who carved it). If you want an alternative, consider call the shots/the tune/the plays, have it all one's way, lay down the law, be in the saddle/driver's seat, hold all the cards.