insider/outsider rule

certain terms used by people within a group are derogatory and unacceptable when used by people outside that group. "Big Fag" is printed on a gay man's T-shirt; a stranger may not call him a big fag. A group of women talk about "going out with the girls"; coworkers should not refer to them as "girls." Cheris Kramarae points out that "it's important to note who uses which labels for what purposes. A term for an oppressed group might be homogenizing when used by the dominant group and unifying when used by the oppressed group" (Women and Language ). Another rationale behind "insider" terms is the attempt to claim and rehabilitate offensive terms, using them often and positively among insiders to strip them of their power to wound. In any case, Miss Manners (Judith Martin) has decreed that "people are allowed more leeway in what they call themselves than in what they call others." See also the section on naming in the Writing Guidelines.