childfree/childless

some childfree individuals have made a considered choice not to have children. While increasing numbers of women are voluntarily childless, "Stats on men are harder to find, perhaps due to the built-in societal bias dictating that because only women can bear children, only women can likewise be defined as 'childfree'" (Jennifer Liss, Bitch) Organizations such as Childless by Choice, Child-Free Network, and No Kidding say that "nonparents" are trying to win acceptance for a childfree lifestyle in an age defined by so-called family values. (Note that "nonparents" as well as "childless" are negatives, implying that being parents and having children is the default.) Liss says, "The criticism that people without children are actively repressing a natural urge is a common one, and it's no surprise that it is so frequently directed at women, given our cultural perception of motherhood as the most sacred experience a woman can have … . Even as the ranks of the childfree grow, the choice to parent continues to be idealized while the choice to be childfree is too often belittled and mocked." When circumstances or infertility prevent people from having the children they badly want, they describe their situations as tragic and heartbreaking (childlessnotbychoice.com) but, again, the focus is gender-weighted: Anndee Hochman (Everyday Acts and Small Subversions) says, "We don't refer, with quite the same sense of anomaly and pity, to 'childless' men." People who either consciously or involuntarily do not have children deserve the same respect as those who consciously or involuntarily have children. In most cases, status vis à vis children is irrelevant and none of our business.