lady (n.)

woman. Many good people have trouble understanding the objections to "lady." "But isn't that a nice word?" they ask. "The concept of 'lady' goes far beyond a single word to a whole way of life" (Alette Olin Hill, Mother Tongue, Father Time). In its traditional use, "lady" defines women as ornaments or decorations rather than real people, as arbiters of both manners and morals, as members of a leisured class, as beings removed from any hint of sexuality, as needing protection from real life, as "too good" or "too special" to "dirty their hands"; as such, it is classist, condescending, trivializing, and anachronistic. "Lady" was once the equivalent of "knight" in the social order, and it has also been paired with "gentleman," yet neither of these terms is used today in the way "lady" is. Note too that "lady" is used sometimes to express annoyance where "woman" is not ("Hey, lady, I was here first!" or "Look, lady, we're sorry, okay?"). The use of "lady" is unobjectionable when: referring to a female member of the House of Lords; you want to convey a sense of graciousness ("She's a real lady"); it is paired with "gentleman" ("Welcome, ladies and gentlemen"). According to the New York Times Manual of Style and Usage, "Except in wry contexts, lady is obsolete for woman, just as gentleman is obsolete for man." The National Public Radio Style Guide is more curt: "Do not use as a synonym for woman." See also chivalry, lady (adj.), ladylike.