gender-neutral language

there is a problem with neutral terms. A word like 'legislator' does not exclude women, but neither does it do anything to change the mental picture for some who already see legislators as male (Amanda Smith, The Albuquerque Tribune). On the other hand, Smith tells about teachers who took two groups of children to opposite ends of the playground. The group told to build snowmen produced 11 snowmen and 1 snowwoman; the group building "snow figures" came up with 5 snowmen, 3 snowwomen, 2 snow dogs, 1 snow horse, and 1 snow spaceship. Sometimes the sexes need to be identified. "Spousal abuse" and "deadbeat parents" give the impression that men and women are equally involved; they are not. Use gender-neutral language to avoid stereotyping ("snow figures") but use gender-specific language to convey realities ("wife battering").