Alphabetical Entries: M

this term has such a particular meaning that in most cases it is probably irreplaceable if you are writing or reporting street talk. If you need a sex-neutral alternative, try best friend, partner, hero, mentor.

a slippery notion, what is "mainstream" to one person is not to the next. It is often used as a synonym for "normal," which is also a slippery notion.

maintenance worker/engineer/mechanic/repairer/specialist, maintainer, repairer, cleaner, office cleaner, custodian, janitor, porter, factotum, odd/general jobber, fixer, fixer-upper, troubleshooter.

because of the "master" here, and because some are women, you might want an alternative: head waiter, host, waiter captain, dining-room/restaurant manager/host, hotel /restaurant manager/steward/proprietor.

nonsexist term (it comes from the Latin for "elder of the house"), although almost all have been male stewards or butlers.

drum major, baton twirler, marching band leader, major. See also feminine word endings.

be the making of, do a world of good, improve, mature, toughen up.

makeup artist. Note the nonparallel "girl/man." Marie Shear on makeup (in New Directions for Women): "Western equivalent of the veil. A daily reminder that something is wrong with women's normal looks. A public apology."

from Mrs. Malaprop in Richard B. Sheridan's comedy The Rivals (1775), the word "malaprop" has passed into the language with no rival (although "spoonerism," q.v., is a near relative) and with no pithy substitute or alternative.

male is used as a noun only in technical writing (medicine, statistics, police reports, sociology), most often reserved for biological or nonhuman references. When using "male" as a noun, beware of nonparallel constructions, for example, "three women and two males." As an adjective, use "male" only when you would use "female" or when it is necessary for clarification; this adjective is often inserted gratuitously, for example, "male nurse," "male secretary," "male model," "male prostitute." And again, watch for nonparallel usage, for example, "three male dancers and one woman dancer."

chauvinist. "Chauvinism" used to refer to the view that one's own country was vastly superior, right or wrong, to all other countries. Dictionaries now also define "chauvinism" as the view that one's own sex is vastly superior.

ego. Make no generalizations about an entire sex.

see cross-dresser.

a few of the benefits men have traditionally enjoyed primarily because they are men include generally being paid more for comparable work, to be called on more frequently in the classroom, within reason to go where they like without fearing assault, rape, or sexual harassment, to do a disproportionately small share of housework and childcare, and even, in many cases and over centuries, to define reality. Along with this, however, has come the "privilege" today—simply because they are men—of registering for selective service, dying earlier than women, and living up to cultural expectations for them which include being strong, "virile," provident, and successful. Black men have the shortest average life span of any group and suffer proportionately more violence and, in the U.S., more incarceration. Public interest attorney, activist, and author Andrew Kimbrell says, "It is a lingering irony that what many call a patriarchal production system significantly degraded both fatherhood and sonship. Rejecting both the male mystique and anti-male ideology, men have begun articulating a male manifesto—a political agenda designed to re-establish ties with each other, their families, communities, and the Earth." See privilege.

trans woman/trans man. Although these terms used to commonly describe a trans person, they've become outdated and sometimes offensive. Avoid using that language unless quoting a trans source. (You may occasionally see MTM or FTF used by those wanting to underscore that they never identified with the gender assigned at birth.) See also transgender.

spoiled/immature/irresponsible person. "Mama's boy" is an unfortunate cultural stereotype that keeps many parents from giving their sons the nurturing they need (and that they continue to seek, often in inappropriate ways, throughout life). Daughters, on the other hand, are more often encouraged (also with sometimes unfortunate results) to be "obedient" and dependent. See also apron strings, tied to someone's.

his term is racist, sexist (there is no parallel term for a man), and an objectionable stereotype that was probably always highly mythical.

this narrow definition is the only acceptable usage for the noun. Dictionaries list two major definitions for "man": (1) adult male, (2) human being. However, studies have shown that people "hear" only the first meaning of the word. See Writing Guidelines for a complete discussion of pseudogeneric "man." See also bad guy, coward, gender roles, male privilege, man/Man (pseudogeneric), provider.

piece, marker, token.

sophisticate, socially active/worldly person, swinger, mover, high-liver, high-flier. The foregoing can be used for either sex whereas there is no phrase for women parallel to "man about town." A woman who has "been around" is not being complimented. See also ladies' man, playboy, rake, womanizer.

someone after one's own heart, someone for whom you have a soft spot, persona grata, favorite, general/personal favorite, apple of one's eye, my kind of person.

the individual against self, other, and nature; literary characters may experience conflict within themselves, with others, or with nature.

one in a million, salt of the earth, one of the best.

always, since childhood, all one's life/natural life, all one's born days.

never use this; it is a nonparallel construction. Use instead man and woman/woman and man, wife and husband/husband and wife, spouses, mates, partners, married couple.