why am I battling a bathing suit?

It's bathing suit season. Actually, it's been bathing suit season for kind of a while now, but I still on turn on the T.V. and am being forced to wonder, "This swimsuit season, whose going to win: you or your swimsuit." 

I'm not going to delve into the body issues the media force feeds young, impressionable girls my age, because I think that issue, while still very real, is tired and I have nothing new or original or say about it. 

What I want to know is why everything is now coming down to "me and my bathing suit." And why the commercials I have seen argue that if I eat only bran-based cereals or artificially flavored yogurts I will win this supposed battle.

 or...

Seriously that's not even a choice.

Well, that's cool, but just because some genius had the idea that women's bathing suits should literally be 2 oz. of material (and that they should charge, like, $70 for that material...actually that's brilliant) doesn't mean that I'm going to eat one unsubstantial food product for 14 days, or whatever the diet their touting is (so we'll buy lots and lots of their product, of course).

But really, media, a battle, REALLY?! It's just stupid. Like most ads, actually.  I think the media just wants to pit women against anything it can at this point. 

But then on the flip side, there seems to be a lot of "bathing suits for all body types" guides. So, now instead of trying to make you all the same size, the collective media cackles to itself, we are going to pretend to understand different body types and capitalize on your differences. Plus, I think for the most part they're just bullshit. 

Like Fitness Magazine's brilliant attempt:

 Yeah...she does look a lot thinner (aka BETTER) in the second picture. But I'm pretty sure it's not because of the change in suit. 

My solution? I'm wearing this to the beach:

I guess my point for picking a topic like bathing suits and not really addressing body issues is this: advertisers of the world. Most of the time, us silly lilttle teenage girls see through your bullshit. Maybe, instead of simultaneously insulting our intelligence and trying to make us feel like crap, you could acknowledge that we are in fact consumers with brains and try something a little less repulsive.