The SUVs of Society

People who happened to be…vertically challenged, and even those of average height, are always commenting to those who happen to be “lucky” enough to surpass the average height for women (an unimpressive 5’4”), “I would kill to have just a couple of your inches… care to donate some?”

No. I would not like to cut off some of my leg and give it to you just so you can be a bit happier, thank you very much.

None of them have ever stopped to consider why it is not so great to be tall. “One day you’ll appreciate your height,” they all say. Well, how about this? One day, you’ll appreciate why I dearly want to drop kick you with my long limbs when you dare to be that ignorant as to the plight of tall women.

However, finally, one brave author has delved into the complex lives of the “Sasquatches” of the world. Arianna Cohen, author of The Tall Book, is one of the first to shed some light on the demographic who cannot reach the top shelf at the grocery store. As an homage to my fellow “SUVs of society” (see The Tall Book), I will list exactly some reasons why it can suck to be tall.

1. The only thing adults can usually think to say to you is, “Wow! You’re so tall! You were so short the last time I saw you, 5 years ago!” Well thank you for being surprised that my growth was not stunted at the age of 10, I’m rather pleased with that unexpected development as well.

2. The nicknames. Sasquatch, Big Foot, Gentle Green Giant, Giantess, Gorilla, the Tall One, and many, many more. All great names to build up confidence during the fragile years of adolescence.

3. The awkwardness that comes with hugging people. Somehow, they’ll always end up with their faces in your cleavage. Not pleasant. Not pleasant at all.

4. As Cohen points out, and I happen to wholly agree, people are always demanding to know if I, being tall, play basketball. No. my lack of hand eye coordination seems to hinder my desire to play that particular sport simply to fit the assumptions of man.

5. Finding pants that are long enough. End. Of. Story.

The moral of the story? Think twice before you say, “Oh, my god! You’re soooo tall!” I’m willing to bet that the person in question might have figured that out a little while ago.

For more about the life in the 6 ft and above class, check out Arianna Cohen’s, The Tall Book.