Remembering The Girl I Once Was During Bisexual Awareness Week

The first time I realized I might be bisexual was during a family movie night. I was in third grade and my dad loaded up the Aladdin DVD. I liked Jasmine, and I knew it was more than aesthetic appreciation. Yet when I told my parents, they just patted my head and said, “Yes, she's very pretty, you’re right.”

The second time I realized I might be bisexual was when I got a crush on a girl in sixth grade; the third time was when I got a crush on another girl in sophomore year. I didn’t understand my feelings either time and tried to repress them. We’re good friends, I told myself. Don’t ruin it.

I always knew I liked boys, but liking girls seemed like forbidden fruit. I later realized I was hardly alone in liking boys and girls, though. According to a 2021 Gallup poll,15% of Gen Z identify as bisexual.

I decided to let others know of my bisexuality last June. I had been thinking about the moment for a while, but in the end I decided to do it quietly: a quick Instagram story wishing everyone a happy Pride over Hayley Kiyoko’s song “for the girls.” To friends who asked, I told them that I was bi. To others, I never officially came out.

Why is it so hard for us bisexual people to feel supported and represented? For me, it is a variety of internal and external factors. I live in a conservative Christian household and grew up learning that homosexuality is a sin. I’m part of a society that fetishizes bisexual attraction yet doesn’t give us proper representation in films and media. And I’m female, which means I have additional stereotypes latched onto my label of bisexuality: that I’m “actually straight,” that I’m doing it “for the attention,” and that “it’s a phase.”

Our culture is becoming more understanding of the bisexual identity, though, and I think it’s important to acknowledge the strides we have made. More and more types of media are featuring bisexual characters, some of which are my favorites, such as Rosa Diaz from Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Selina Kyle from the 2022 adaptation of Batman. President Biden signed an executive order vowing to address historical inequalities, prevent conversion therapy, and protect LGBTQ+ youth. Activists across all age groups are speaking out about LGBTQ+ issues frequently and urgently, refusing to be silenced until all of us are heard.

So this Bisexual Awareness Week, I’m not asking for every single person across America to accept bisexual people for what we know we already are: valid. But I am asking for human kindness and empathy to us no matter your political, religious, or social affiliation. Bisexual people are here, and we are beautiful. We’re the classmates too scared to ask the cute girl and/or boy to the school dance because we don’t know how they feel. We’re the friends giggling over Timothée Chalamet and Zendaya in Dune because they’re both equally hot. We’re the daughters, sons, nonconforming, genderqueer, and trans individuals too scared to come out. For Bisexual Awareness Week, I’m remembering the girl I once was, and wishing I could tell her that everything would be OK — that it’s OK to be myself. And I’m asking you to do it too.