Diamonds Aren't a Girl's Best Friend

Ah, the holidays. The time of year when houses are lit up, the streets are crowded with shoppers, and the whole family spends quality time together watching specials on television.

It’s all well and good, until little gems like these pop up.

I’m sure you’ve all seen this lovely commercial from Kay Jewelers. Where a couple is watching the storm outside, and suddenly the thunder scares the poor little girlfriend into her man’s arms. Then he gives her a sparkly necklace and everyone’s happy!

…Wait, what.

You know, I was actually thinking the last fifty-or-so years of the women’s movement actually had some impact on the way women were portrayed in the media.  When I watched this commercial, my mouth literally dropped in shock.

Because along with enticing me to buy an overpriced hunk of metal, it also taught me two things I didn’t know about my own gender.

1. Women need a big tough man to protect them from scary things like thunderstorms.

Really? Just, really? If this were true, then all the single ladies out there would probably cease to function and instead huddle in a corner with a teddy bear for the rest of our pathetic lives, waiting for Superman to come to our rescue. Not only does it present women as infantile and timid little creatures, it has the audacity to suggest that…

2. If a woman is anxious, all you need is a small shiny object to make her happy.

Forget talking about things and being rational, that’s for men. Ladies, the panacea for all your problems, whether it be mean ol’ Mother Nature out to get you, or the fact that you’re just too weak to handle a man’s world, is small, glittery, and you need a boyfriend or a husband to give it to you. Once you have that, then you’re set! (but note: it must, absolutely must, be expensive or else he doesn’t really care for you like he says he does)

And don’t forget th—ooooh, shiny!

My apologies. I was distracted.

It’s not just cheesy. It’s in poor taste. And frankly, it’s insulting. I can’t believe this is happening in the 21^st century. Yes, it’s just a commercial. But if this is what companies think is appealing to the American public, then something is very wrong here.

Thank you, Kay Jewelers. I can’t wait for my next lesson in sexism. And I will be sure to demand that my boyfriend head on over there and get me a friggin’ symbol of our love, or else I’m going to throw a temper tantrum.