Dealing with Imposter Syndrome in Pursuing STEM

When I was 6 years old, I decided I would become a dentist. Unlike most kids, I enjoyed every second I spent in the dentist’s chair; I loved the marshmallow-flavored fluoride and prizes I got at the end of the appointment. To my 6-year-old mind, that was enough to decide dentistry was my destiny.

The first time I experienced doubt about my chosen career path was during my freshman year of college. During a conversation about my major and career goals, a member of my family doubted my ability to become a dentist because, as they put it, “women have weak hands.” They continued by saying, “Maybe you should consider becoming something like a teacher, which is more fitting for a girl.” At the time, I laughed the comment off, but it's always gnawed at the back of my mind.

That comment had been the only time it was suggested to me that my gender could impede my ability to succeed. That is until I stepped onto the University of Connecticut’s campus as a freshman and encountered imposter syndrome for the first time.

Imposter syndrome is defined by the Harvard Business Review as “a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success” that often involve “chronic self-doubt and a sense of intellectual fraudulence that override any feelings of success or external proof of their competence.” Women are generally disproportionately affected by imposter syndrome, and women in STEM are no exception. Since women only make up about 24% of the workforce in STEM fields, it makes sense that they would feel a strong need to prove themselves.

When I joined UConn’s Pre-Dental Society, I was happy to meet so many like-minded individuals with similar career goals, but was also struck by the realization that I would have to compete against everyone there. This Society includes some of the brightest students I have ever encountered, which made me feel badly about my personal academic accomplishments. The society was also male-dominated, and its leadership, the executive board, was majority male. It was clear that my male peers were clearly more confident and secure with themselves than I was — and, I was willing to guess, many of my female peers were.

It wasn’t just the Pre-Dental Society that reinforced my feelings of inadequacy. That Society was just the beginning of a cycle of self-doubt perpetuated by every “bad grade” and every class that felt like a challenge to my acceptance to dental school. By the beginning of my sophomore year, it also became clear that sexism was evident in the classroom, too. I watched professors call on male students more often than female students and disproportionately choose them for exciting opportunities.

I constantly debated completely changing my career trajectory. But then I realized that perhaps I was in this situation not because of my own failings, but because of systemic disadvantages. I had known very few women who had pursued or wanted to pursue high-level STEM careers, and I was given very little information about these fields and careers in general. My friends at college tend to be women in STEM as well, and we’ve all had similar experiences — and feel like imposters today.

My friends in other majors such as English, art history, or communications don’t tend to feel the intense effects of imposter syndrome as much as my STEM colleagues do. While this is a small sample size of women at my university, it is interesting to see the disparities in confidence between the feelings of women who are in majors that are traditionally associated with women, such as education, versus majors that women struggle to be accepted within.

I see myself continuing to struggle with imposter syndrome in years to come, but I won’t be deterred from my goals and becoming successful in STEM. After numerous conversations with friends and family, I have realized that my fear of failure has led to my insecurity. Embracing the idea that failure and change are natural has allowed me to become more confident in my ability to achieve my goals. I’ll continue to fight to become a secure and capable professional, and won’t let the idea of “weak hands” or “traditional women’s roles” stand between me and my dream career. Not anymore.