In Kashmir, a ‘Dowry-Free’ Village

Srinagar, Indian-Administrated Kashmir—For nearly four decades, Baba Wayil, a small Muslim village situated on the foothills of the snowclad Zabarwan Range in Indian-administered Kashmir, has cultivated fame for its blanket ban on dowries and lavish weddings.

We visited the village in October, when many in the village were busy storing recently-harvested paddy and walnuts for the harsh winter ahead. There, we met Ghulam Nabi Shah, 65, sitting on the balcony of his modest abode surrounded by tall walnut trees. He was one of the village elders who formed the anti-dowry rules nearly 40 years ago.

“We made up our minds to take a stand on the dowry system and safeguard our future generations from this evil practice,” Shah told us. “And with support from both men and women, particularly the younger generation, our dream of a dowry-free village became a reality.”

Dowry has been criminalized in India since 1961, but the custom is centuries old and deeply rooted in Indian culture as a condition for marriage; cash, gold items, and home appliances are among items that the bride’s family must pay to the groom and his family. For families who can’t afford dowry, however, it’s an insurmountable obstacle that stands in the way of their income, honor, and social inclusion.

Consequently, more than 20 women across India die every day from “dowry harassment” — either by suicide or murder for dowry demands; many more suffer from other forms of violence. In 2020 alone, dowry deaths amounted to nearly 7,000, according to data collected by market and consumer research company Statista. The southern Indian state of Kerala, which had nearly 1,100 cases of dowry harassment since 2010, experienced three dowry-related deaths in the span of two days this year.

The no-dowry agreement acknowledged by the people of Baba Wayil is posted over the village mosque, with signatures from locals who commit to its terms. It reads that the bride’s family will not face any financial burden of marriage from the groom or his family. In fact, the agreement stipulates that the groom must give at least US$200 in mehr — an Islamic obligation in the form of material possessions paid by the groom to the bride at the time of marriage —as well as US$300 to the bride before marriage for shopping expenses. It also states that if any family intends on breaking the agreement, they will face complete social boycott, including being denied entry into mosque and burial in the village graveyard. In Islam, giving or taking dowry is prohibited.

Drinking tea, Shah guides us through a copy of the agreement. “We keep having meetings to see if the amount needs to be adjusted for inflation,” he said. They’ve only revised it twice, in 2004 and 2021, to increase mehr and bridal expenses.

“Every family in the village respects this agreement and follows it of their own will,” said Shah. And it’s been so successful over the years that villagers from neighboring Chanhar have inquired about how to adapt it for their own village.

“It gives me immense happiness that people are willing to give up the evil of dowry,” said Shah. “My dream is that this baton will pass on to our younger generation before I close my eyes forever.”

Twenty-four-year-old business student Iqra Altaf lives a short five-minute walk from Shah. She was married in June and considers it a blessing to be born in Baba Wayil.

“My classmates didn’t believe that a dowry-free marriage could happen in today’s time,” Altaf told us. “But upon witnessing my marriage, they were really impressed.” She said the agreement has brought a sense of equality and respect among the villagers, as it allows couples from all economic backgrounds to wed.

Partners from outside the village must also abide by the agreement to be married and included in Baba Wayil. “Marriage is about two people spending their lives together, but when dowry comes into the picture, it turns it into turned into a business deal,” said Altaf. “But here in Baba Wayil, it’s done how our religion has taught us.”

Kashmir is considered the land of saints, she said, and laments hearing of dowry-related abuses elsewhere in the region. The crime branch of Jammu and Kashmir police found that there were eight dowry deaths in the union territory in 2019, as well as 3,069 cases of domestic violence, molestation, and rape, among other crimes against women.

Conversely, according to villagers, Baba Wayil has not reported a single case of domestic abuse or divorce since they instituted the agreement in 1985.

“It’s not like we couldn’t afford a lavish marriage for our daughter,” Ayesha Bano, Altaf’s mother, told us while preparing collard greens dinner in her home several streets over from her daughter’s residence. Bano was married in 1990 in accordance with the agreement. “But what gain will one get in nourishing evil? It’s simply asking for a bribe in order to accept their daughter.”

She’s proud of Altaf. Her only wish now is for her village’s rejection of dowry to be adopted wherever it exists today. It’s a novel concept, in which Baba Wayil stands as an outlier, but, as Bano reiterates to us, “a woman is not a liability in this world. She should remain independent, like a free bird in the sky.”