The Rise of Sex-Positive Brands, Therapists, and Influencers in India

Thirty-four-year-old Sunaina Mathur* from Pune, India didn’t know much about sex education or sexual wellness until she was married. She was brought up in an environment where talking about sexuality was a big taboo.

“After my marriage, I knew about sex better. My husband is diabetic and has low libido. A friend suggested I get a pleasure product from MyMuse. My family doesn’t know about this, but I feel pleasure is important for me,” she says.

Kamasutra, the ancient text on sexuality, love, and pleasure, was written in India in the third century CE and is the oldest known text on this subject. The temples of Khajuraho from the twelfth century CE testify to the fact that sexuality was once celebrated in India. However, Indian society has become rather conservative in the last few centuries for several reasons. Taboos related to menstruation are rampant, and healthy discussions on sex education, sexuality, and pleasure are frowned upon by elders. There have been cases where Indian politicians have promoted misinformation by saying that rape is caused by the way women dress or condom ads.

Experts cite many reasons for this gradual change of attitude toward sexuality in India over the centuries. Some feminists and historians attribute it to a rise in patriarchal values and the will to control women; others cite certain historical events.

Paromita Vohra, feminist writer, filmmaker, and founder of Agents of Ishq, a project that promotes accurate sexuality information, believes that while it would be incorrect to ever see the past as either utopian or fallen, colonialism played a great part in sanitizing cultures of South Asia of their more fluid, erotic aspects and the diverse vernaculars of gender and sexuality that were accepted as a part of life.

“Censorship was something the British introduced and used to imply that local people were not mature enough to make sense of right and wrong,” Vohra adds, “and this has been taken forward as a practice today by privileged communities and authorities alike. Colonial culture and upper-caste gatekeepers also became intertwined in a moralistic and sanitizing outlook and practices of control, the effects of which we are still unpacking and trying to undo in different ways.”

However, in recent years, there has been an uptick in intimate wellness product brands, sex therapists, and influencers in India, and women in particular are talking about sex and experimenting with products. Brands like Besharam, MyMuse India, Love Treats, That Sassy Thing, Sangya Project, and Pee Safe are sites that sell pleasure products, menstrual hygiene products, and contraceptives and have started changing the hush-hush attitude around sex and sexual wellness in India.

A mix of personal and professional experiences led Delhi-based Sachee Malhotra to launch That Sassy Thing in January 2021. Malhotra was diagnosed with the hormonal condition polycystic ovary syndrome, or PCOS, at 15, and she realized that there was little conversation about how it impacts the body internally and mental health. “I was bullied and I went through a lot of painful hair removal treatments. Several aspects of women’s bodies were not even acknowledged,” she says. Later, after college, she worked in marketing with a condom brand in India and found that all brands were targeted at men. “I saw how messed up the sexual wellness category was. All these brands were hyper-masculine and came from a very male-gaze standpoint. The perspective on women was completely missing,” she adds.

Since proper sex education is negligible in school or at home, That Sassy Thing also collaborates with educators and experts to create free and comprehensive master classes around gender and sexuality, consent, sex education, intimacy after childbirth, and healing from sexual trauma.

Anushka Gupta, co-founder of MyMuse India, feels mental health and sexual health were two areas that were traditionally underserved in India for a long time largely because of the stigma associated with both. “We knew from our personal experiences that sex and pleasure weren’t things that people openly talked about, and so products in the space haven’t evolved or become acceptable at all,” she says.

After spending considerable time abroad and in various parts of India, the founders of MyMuse India found a stark difference in accessibility, information, and products when it came to sexual well-being in the East and the West. Since their launch in 2021, Gupta says they have received an “overwhelming response” to the products, which include massagers, water-based lubes, vibrators, aromatherapy candles, and dating card games.

Sangya Project was started by three friends in 2020 as a sex education page for adults. “The idea was to educate adults so that they could pass on the knowledge to their children, rather than educating children. We touched upon topics that were fairly nuanced and often made us feel alone in our experiences,” says Shweta Sangtani, co-founder and CEO of Sangya Project. Sangya has now evolved into an online store that sells lubricants, sex toys, and kink wear.

“The idea was to understand sexuality, and a lot of people felt seen through our content, and the response to our products has been incredible. India is truly ready for this sector, I feel,” Sangtani says.

Aili Seghetti, a sex and intimacy coach and founder of The Intimacy Curator, believes many women haven’t really been speaking about or experiencing sexual pleasure for hundreds of years. “Due to patriarchy, most women are ashamed of talking about arousal. The conditionings of patriarchy, like ‘Don’t talk to boys’ or ‘Don’t wear these clothes,’ have made the bodies of women shut down, and many women don’t even experience arousal," she says.

Paromita Vohra believes that as women begin to talk about desire and sexuality, it intersects with other areas of their life, and one can’t really consider liberation in silos. “Sexuality asks one to think intersectionally at a very intimate, granular level, and discussing one form of freedom and autonomy leads to discussing other forms. Speaking about the self as sexual undoes some social bonds and negates the controlling gaze, and that is why it needs to be a part of reclaiming one’s autonomy,” she says.

Seema Anand, a top sexual health influencer, author, and storyteller, puts out her content on Instagram in a way that enables people to discuss sexuality intergenerationally, and not just among the younger generation in isolation. “I feel sad that there aren’t enough men in this space. Most sexual wellness influencers in India are women,” she says.

While there has been an increase in sexual wellness brands in India and information about sex and pleasure in online publications, Seghetti feels mostly privileged, English-speaking women have access to products and media. “Most women in India have been through sexual harassment or trauma, and the sexual wellness industry is mostly handling the physical side of sexuality, not emotional or psychological, which are crucial for women. We are still at a very nascent stage when it comes to sexual awakening,” Seghetti says.

*Name changed on request.