This Author Channeled Her Grief Into a Children’s Book About Managing Sadness

About a month after author and illustrator Tracy Subisak’s mother passed away, she got the idea to create a picture book about the experience. The result, Jenny Mei Is Sad, is “a very personal story and it was very rooted in my grief journey,” Subisak told the FBomb.

The title character in Jenny Mei Is Sad is a little girl who is often sad but still makes jokes and smiles. Her best friend always lets her know that she is there to listen and play games, even when Jenny Mei isn’t at her best.

“It's hard to be a friend to someone who is grieving because the person who's grieving doesn't know what's going on,” Subisak said. “It's just an overwhelming thing to have an awesome support system.”

We had the chance to talk to Subisak about her new book, the many ways her late mom inspired her, and how readers can be there for friends who are grieving.

Many parents and other adults are still reluctant to talk to their kids about sadness and grief. How can families start having these conversations?

My hope is that our next generation is much more open [to] talking about mental wellness than we are now. Addressing [these issues] through reading is one obviously huge way to relate to something and learn. I hope that this could be just one of those steps that sparks the conversation, like, if you're sad, you can talk to an adult, you can talk to your friends about it.

But also, a lot of us don’t know how to support someone who is going through something. I remember being in this situation as the friend of someone who is grieving and I didn’t know what to say at all. So this is something people of all ages can learn.

It’s been really interesting to see how many children’s and young adult books about mental health have been published in the past few years. What has it been like being part of that?

I feel touched to be part of it. It’s so great to have these outlets for these stories. The books that you need appear when you need them, so I’m hoping Jenny Mei Is Sad can be one of those books for someone as well. I started writing this book in 2017, and I think that, since then, just because of things like current events, I’ve been thinking about what people deal with every day. It could be a small sadness, it could be a big sadness, but people are learning how to deal with that and other people are learning how they could support them.

How has your mom inspired your work as an artist?

My mom was an art teacher and she taught classes in our basement, so I was very exposed to creative outlets at an early age. She once made this huge mural on the wall with markers of these beautiful seascapes. It was just really cool to be surrounded by that kind of enthusiasm.

I still think of all these little tips that she taught me when I was young that I still remember. They’ve stuck with me throughout life. She helped me be able to see the world through the lens of an artist, which is really cool.

How can readers support their friends who may be going through sadness or grief?

I think the biggest thing that I learned is the importance of validating that person's experience. It takes a lot of courage to say ‘Something is wrong’ or ‘Something's hard.’ Recognizing that is important, so I would say ‘I'm really glad you came to me to tell me about this’ and then really just listening to what they are saying.

I think just being present is a huge thing. It’s important to let that friend know that they're not alone.

This interview has been lightly edited for length and clarity.